Friends and Beyond

Online Dating Has Given "Blind Date" A New Meaning

It has come to my attention just recently about what may be appropriate for a blind date when it comes to activity and setting.  In this day and age, people tend to rush into and out of relationships like a revolving door.  There is no time alotted to get to know one another.  Immediately there is a sense of false commitment and then surprise when that commitment does not stick.  So the question is...What is an appropriate activity and setting when you have been recommended to someone that you have not met?  Is is a date or not?  Where should you go and what should you do?

The answer to this question is one so many do not like because it is putting on the brakes before you get started.  But to properly meet someone, it should be done in a public, casual and even fun atmosphere.  A public gathering or networking function is a great place to meet someone of the opposite sex for the first time.  Cocktails in a larger setting or even coffee is a safe and appropriate atmosphere for both men and women to meet for the first time when a friend or family member has made a recommendation and is not available to be there to make the introduction.

Meeting a stranger for a movie or dinner is not an ideal setting for that first time meet.  The atmosphere is too intimate and intimidating especially if the people meeting do not take a liking to each other in the beginning.  Also, with a meal, there is an unspoken sense of obligation for the gentleman to pay for the meal even if he does not like the woman.   

By choosing a casual meeting place and activity, there is a sense of freedom for both people to either continue seeing each other by mutually planning a proper date or going their separate ways.  This also gives room to meet a few more times casually before proceeding forward to a dating environment.  With online dating at an all time high, it is important to use caution when meeting strangers for the first time.  And even a few times after the initial get together.  There should always be a Plan B until you get to know someone better and feel comfortable with and even safe around them.  Why rush when you have the rest of your life to enjoy the right person. 

Is He Into You Or Not, Ladies? That Is The Question

With the new movie out "He's just not that into you" I was reminded about how often ladies deal with this issue sometimes on a daily basis.  Not too long ago a friend of mine wanted me to meet a man that came into the restaurant where she tended bar.  I agreed and she through a casual conversation told him about me and after some thought he called her with his phones numbers to give to me.  (First Indicator) A day or two went by and I finally did call and set up a time to have a cocktail and share some conversation.  The get together went well and the gentlman told me that he would call me by the end of the weekend.  It was at this time Tuesday.  Well the weekend came and went without a call.  As nice as he was, one thing came to my mind.  He just wasn't that interested and that was OK.  I am quite a busy girl anyway. 

Well.....my friend after sometime decided that I should call him and tell him I was thinking of him.  I told her NO.  If this man had an interest in me then he would have called regardless.  She proceeded to tell me that times have changed and I was thinking old fashion.  I tried to explain that as old fashion as it may seem, men are warriors and will fight armies to get the attention of a woman that has caught his fancy.  There are not enough excuses in the book to explain away that when you do not do what you say you are going to do you lose trust and that is not a very good foundation for the future.

So ladies, refrain from picking up the phone and calling a guy just because you think it will help create a relationship because it will not.  And remember a drink is not a date and two or three dates does not make him your boyfriend. I guess the old saying does go for us, Girls, lighten up and get a life.  If he is interested he will come running. you can count on it.  If not.... then keep moving.

How Do You Know If Your First Date Went Well

Nowadays it is almost unusual to meet someone in person with all the online dating going on.  Hopefully during your communication, you have developed some kind of friendship enough to eventually meet face to face.  This can be nerve racking and the question will alsways pop up about how the first date will go or after the dat, how did it go. There are a few signs to watch for as you step into this new found arena.

First indicator is whether you are actually excited to go out with this person.  If you do not have any of this excitement or notice the other person does not seem to have it then more than likely this date may not turn out well.  Once past this point it is important if the gentleman has spent some time planning the date and not flying by the seat of his pants.  Spontenuity is great but not on the first date.  That is something that comes down the road when your dates turn into a relationship.  If during your date either of you maintain a certain amount of eye contact and is free to laugh when something is humerous, that is a sign that your date is going well and there should be signs of a repeat occassion. 

The most important thing to remember is that the first date is not the end of the world and the possible relationship is to be rushed.  Take some time to get to know each other before jumping into an immediate gluing to the hips exclusivity.  Too many times a couple breakups because they did not take the time to allow for a peaceful parting of the ways in the beginning when incompatibilty can and does rear it's head. 

Does Love At First Sight Really Exist?

This is a question asked by many who seek a relationship.  Immediate desire and /or ust at one's first sight does exist.  However, the world pretty much agrees that love at first sight is not a relavent expressin for an actual feeling.  Love at first sight is more classified as infatuation than love.  One simple fact remains that can kick start love is that your first moves when you see a possible future love are crucial.   if in fact love does grow from the initial encounter then you could call it love at first sight.  There will be no arguments to that issue.  But if it does not.....then what do you cal the encounter?  The term Love at First Sight is a significant part of the popular belief of many.  But it truely exists for those who choose to believe it. 

Can Your Date Really Commit

Time and time again in this fast paced world that we live in we meet people left and right and find we have personal attractions.  So we go out on dates but somewhere along the line there are hopes that a relationship will emerge.  But low and behold it does not.  The question is "Why" and what can you do to realize that your date either can not or will not commit to a relationship. 

What you need to do is pay attention to the signs, words and actions.  If you go into this dating with your eyes open it will be much easier to recognize when someone is not really going to commit to anything more.  No real time for you, falls way to fast and inconsistencies are just a few things that are overlooked when two people start out dating because they are attracted to one another.  If any of these things pop up, quickly evaluate before your heart starts getting attached.  It is better to learn about the caution and red flags early in the game before you have spent a considerable amount of time trying to build a relationship that is going no where.