Friends and Beyond

How Do You Know If Your First Date Went Well

Nowadays it is almost unusual to meet someone in person with all the online dating going on.  Hopefully during your communication, you have developed some kind of friendship enough to eventually meet face to face.  This can be nerve racking and the question will alsways pop up about how the first date will go or after the dat, how did it go. There are a few signs to watch for as you step into this new found arena.

First indicator is whether you are actually excited to go out with this person.  If you do not have any of this excitement or notice the other person does not seem to have it then more than likely this date may not turn out well.  Once past this point it is important if the gentleman has spent some time planning the date and not flying by the seat of his pants.  Spontenuity is great but not on the first date.  That is something that comes down the road when your dates turn into a relationship.  If during your date either of you maintain a certain amount of eye contact and is free to laugh when something is humerous, that is a sign that your date is going well and there should be signs of a repeat occassion. 

The most important thing to remember is that the first date is not the end of the world and the possible relationship is to be rushed.  Take some time to get to know each other before jumping into an immediate gluing to the hips exclusivity.  Too many times a couple breakups because they did not take the time to allow for a peaceful parting of the ways in the beginning when incompatibilty can and does rear it's head. 

Creating A Win-Win Communication

Whether you are trying to improve a personal relationship or enhance a business relationship, communication is a key element in accomplishing a win win situation.  There is a proccess called And Then Some that s very effective in establishing a win win environment.  The people involved must be mature enough and open to feedback.  The more common excuses used to avoid this process are,"This is dumb" or "I'm too busy" or "My friend,wife, husband would never do that."  Here is how the process works.

At the end of a week one person will ask the other "On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate my performance as a (?) last week?"  The key is to listen with an open mind and pause before there is any response.  If the answer is not a ten the next question will be, "What wuld I need to improv my score or make it a ten?"  The next key is to listen again and utilize the information to improve on te next week.

This makes us more aware of where we may be falling short of fullfilling all that we can be.  However, too often people get offend and take the answers negatively which will short circuit possible improvement in their lives for the future.  If you accept the imformation you receive as a gift, it can help you become more trustworthy and genuine.  It is true that sometimes the truth hurts but sometimes it is necessary to swallow a little pride to enjoy the benefit that follow.

Old Schools Friends Can Still Be Good Friends

Even after many years people who have not spoken for years run back into each other and find there is so much to talk about.  But sometimes because of the time, distance and chains of circumstances there is a hesitation to share. This comes from a fear of what the other might think if the circumstances were not favorable.  The good news is that no matter how far the two have been apart or the geographic distance between them, some things like a real frendship never change.  So sharing each other's memories with just a little getting recquainted, flows easily.  Before you know it they are laughing at the funny things, supporting the things that are sad or hurtful and enjoying a experience many avoid for fear of what the other might think.  High school reunions are often an instigator of such a instance in people's lives.  when this des happen, embrace the opportunity to get reacquainted and build on the foundation of the friendship for future communication.  With patience, a solid loyalty and sense of security is established and you will be amaed at how quickly years and distance are shortened and a harbor of friendship is recreated for eveyone involved.  So if you fall into tis situation don't be afraid to trust the friendship that once was as being a friendshiop that still is.

Can Your Date Really Commit

Time and time again in this fast paced world that we live in we meet people left and right and find we have personal attractions.  So we go out on dates but somewhere along the line there are hopes that a relationship will emerge.  But low and behold it does not.  The question is "Why" and what can you do to realize that your date either can not or will not commit to a relationship. 

What you need to do is pay attention to the signs, words and actions.  If you go into this dating with your eyes open it will be much easier to recognize when someone is not really going to commit to anything more.  No real time for you, falls way to fast and inconsistencies are just a few things that are overlooked when two people start out dating because they are attracted to one another.  If any of these things pop up, quickly evaluate before your heart starts getting attached.  It is better to learn about the caution and red flags early in the game before you have spent a considerable amount of time trying to build a relationship that is going no where.

Is It Or Is It Not Too Good To Be True

In a world where let downs and break ups are more common than before some meet a person who seeming has all the elments of a great relaionship.  But then comes the question "Is this too good to be true"?  Then comes that task of looking for things that are not right and waiting for what it thought to be the inevidable.  Fortunately it only seems to be too good to be true because it goes against all that you may know from the past.  The fact is a good relationship is good enough to be true. 

It might be that after so many different disappointments you have forgottenn how to love yourself.  Remember that love attracts love and when you shine from the inside the universe delivers on the outside.  Allo as much happiness into your life as yu can and take the credit for the courage it took to get through you disppointments.  More importantly refrain from lookming for something to be wrong.  Holding your relationship to tight will hinder it's growth.  A relationship is something you allow and it does not just happen.  It is a choice, so choose to love and be loved.

Is It Your Story Or Their Story

Have you noticed that at times you may get upset for a friend or family member only to find out that the occurrence or situation really was not a problem to them as much as it was to you.  Many times we get caught up in a communication gap and are bent out of shape for someone else when really it is something we need to deal with ourselves.  We think we are displaying loylty when in actuality it is our own story we are not will to acknowledge.  We are really the ones who have the issue and project the unwillingness to face it onto someone else.  This is usually friends or family.  We say they ar uspset when really it is ourself that is upset.  Have patience though because as soon as we begin to aknowledge that is is our story we can then recognized when smeone else is project in the same way as well.  We can the remind them that the story is theirs and not yours.  This way you will not get caught up in someone else's drama and prevent from getting others caught up in yours.  This then hls to reshape our attitude and and the attitude or those around us.  When you take ownership of your own story, you then can make adjustments to either continue or change the story that you have.  We then become rsponsible for the outcome of our daily lives.

What Do You Do When You Break Up With Your Partner

It seem couples are breaking up at an alaming rate.  There are severalthings to keep in mind when this happens.  First of all if it i a marriage it is important to think and believe in rebuilding and not divorce.  Remember that what you focus on will expand.  This is true of divorce.  If you constantly think of ending in divorce, the chances are that you will in fact end that way.  A key thing to remember is that a separation of any kind is a cry for some space to think and regroup.  Re evaluate the relationship and dedermine the reason you became a couple in the beginning.  Are you still doing those things?  If not then why?  It is very important to be real in the beginning but even more important to be real in your re evaluation.  Have patience that the best for both people involved will emerge.  Should our re evaluation result in the common desire to reunite, focus on rebuilding a better foundation than the first so when the wins of adversity hit, that foundation is less likely to crack.

When Your Friend Gives You Their Good News

I am sure there are times when you had a friend or were in a relationshp when this person came to you excited about some great news they received.  Let me ask you...What was your first impression. Were you immediately happy or was there a sense of being left behind involved.  When faced with this situation either of those emotions can and will arise.  Even if you first thought was to be upset and upset that you may be left in the dust there is something you can do to squash that feeling and be genuinely happy for you friend.  You can raise the bar on what you want to accomplish.  Set your standard just a little higher so that when you reach your goals and dreams you might even surpass them in them in the process.  Your attitude is what will hold you back or catipult you forward.  Iti important t communicate (discretely may add) your excitement and how thi news has encouraged you.  In this senario there can only end up a win win result.  So think about the next ime you hear of great news from someone.  Are you going to use it as an anchor to hld you back or a engine to carry you forward. 

Why Some Men Become Disinterested In a Relationship

There are women who have asked why the man they are dating or married to become more laid back and uninterested than before there was a commitment.  The answer is very plain and clear but most women do not see it.  A man is like a warrior.  If he is not out conquering he is not happy.  If the battle is won he is not content util there is a new challenge.  As women we must let our man be who he is, a warrior,  that knight in shining armor.  Do not expect that to change and you do not want that to change anyway.  As long as a man is challenged, he will find the things he needs to do or say to make his princess or queen, if you will, happy.  As a woman it is imperative that you maintain a certain amount of your previous life and more importantly your friends because as close as you may be with the man you love, he will defect.  And when he does you will blame him. When in fact you may have been the one who took away his thunder.  If you are paying attention you will know when this turn happens and be able to make adjustments in your own daily life to grow and flourish until he returns the warrior and knight that he is and that you really want him to be. 

Do You Have Trouble Getting a Conversation Started?

don't you find it interesting that some people are great at getting a conversation started and some struggle terribly.  There really are key ways to get or keep a conversation going with friends and or strangers.  But most of the time we tend to sit back and let someone else do all the talking or we let dead space staop a conversation in it's tracks.  It is just a matter of learned some ways that work for you and practice, practice.  After a while you skills will increase you socialization and probably your business communication as well.  So go ahead.....what do you have to lose.  But there is so much to gain.